I met myself in ten years for coffee. She was in her forties and while her face showed lines of life more present than before she still had that sparkle in her eye. She was calm, present and confident.

She talked about the girls, who are now in high school, and all the activities they are involved in that keep her busy and the friends they still have from elementary school. I sat in awe as she talked about where Rowan was going to college and what she is passionate about, thinking about how the dreams of her today are much closer now. We laughed about all the shenanigans Reese gets into but how she has grown into a smart, confident young woman. They both have a hilarious, yet beautiful friendship as sisters and my heart grows a few more sizes.

I started to cry as I told her how dark everything feels right now, how I wear sunglasses in the kindergarten pickup line to hide the tears threatening to spill over my lashes as I worry about the tomorrows.

She held my hand and told me that I found another great therapist who helps not only manage the spells of anxiety and depression, but who has taught me to embrace the beautiful brain I was given and is healing the parts others told me weren’t enough.

She talks about Tony’s schedule, that they had decided to not upgrade to captain until he could hold a line so he can still be present for these last few years of the girls being home. She blew out a big breath, explaining that it feels like it took both forever and in a blink to reach these years.

She laughs as she talks about the friends she has made, the vacations we took as a family, and how Tony was absolutely the right choice when it came to teaching the girls to drive.

Her sparkle dims for a moment as I bring up our dog and then I realize she might not be the only one we lose in the next decade. It reminded me that while the future brings wisdom and perspective, it also leaves behind what we cherish today.

Before we left she gave me a hug and said to keep being brave. Being brave? I felt far from that word, however, she reminded me that even when I didn’t feel like it or felt nervous to introduce myself, I continued to put myself in new rooms with new people that eventually created a community that supports our family in ways we couldn’t have dreamed.

So while we might reminisce about the past or worry about the future, the magic is actually in what we’re doing now. It’s the game nights we are establishing, the home-cooked meals, family vacations and the “yes, I’d love to” moments that create the dreams of tomorrow.

Plan for tomorrow, but live in today. Even if that means getting through just one day at a time, one moment at a time, until you’re 45 sitting in a coffee shop with a relaxed demeaner, telling your former self that while she thinks she’s screwing it all up, she’s actually setting it all up.

Don’t steal today’s joy, worrying of the tomorrows. Use today’s joy to SET UP the joys of tomorrows. Give yourself grace, order a coffee to go, and remember that each day brings new opportunities for tomorrow, so embrace each one ❤️

Thanks for stopping in! Let’s stay connected and see the world together!